Everybody has a story or two about an ex they’d rather forget, and our readers didn’t hold back either. They told some heart-stopping, embarrassing, and plain humorous stories about ex-partners who should be left in the past.
Cheers to the Memories: I ran into my ex in a bar with pals after our breakup. I wrote, “Cheers to the memories!” and sent him a drink. “Cheers to my next victim!” he wrote in response. The entire pub burst into laughing when he abruptly leaped to his feet and began karaoke-ing our breakup song off-key. I was about to believe that things couldn’t get much worse when he produced a cardboard cutout of me and claimed that I was his “emotional support ex.”
Google Calendar Sabotage: My ex-boyfriend hacked into my Google Calendar and added a number of awkward events with titles like “Cry Session,” “Remember You’re Alone,” and “Rejection Practice.” It was creative, but it felt like a daily reminder of my heartbreak! A week later, I got an invitation to a “Self-Care Workshop” that he was hosting. Curious, I clicked the link and discovered that he was holding a virtual seminar on emotional healing, using the very events he had added to my calendar as discussion points! Hair Locket Mystery: My ex gave me a vintage silver locket, which I threw away in a drawer after our breakup. A year later, my new boyfriend discovered it while cleaning, and said, “Why don’t you? It’s nice,” handing it to me.
The Case of the Missing Socks: After we broke up, I noticed that random pairs of my socks were missing. It turned out that my ex had taken one sock from each pair before leaving, leaving me with a collection of mismatched socks. It took a long time to rebuild my sock collection, and I still occasionally find an odd one he must have missed. Parking Spot Pettiness: My ex knew my favorite parking spot in front of my building and somehow got a sign installed that read, “Reserved for [his name].” Every time I tried to park there, I was reminded of his name. The sign was eventually taken down, but I will never forget that pointless gesture.
The Lost Cat Ruse: My ex grew extremely excited about being a “cat person” after our breakup. He created the “Looking for My Lost Cat” Facebook group, where he shares photos of random cats in the neighborhood with comments like “Perhaps he’s at [my name]’s house!” After dozens of messages from friends attempting to assist him in finding his “lost” cat, I was forced to block him.
Midnight Caller: At two in the morning, my ex phones me from multiple numbers while posing as different people. It is unrelenting. I never know when the next call would arrive, even after blocking a lot of numbers.
The Everywhere Ex: He would “happen” to be anywhere I went, whether it was to the grocery store, the gym, or a concert. The odd thing is that I never told him where I would be, so he obviously went out of his way to find me. He would act surprised every time, asking, “Oh, funny seeing you here! Do you come here often?” It felt like we lived in a small town with only one restaurant, one gym, and one grocery store. Uninvited Family Guest: Even after our breakup, she continues to show up at my family events without permission, acting as if nothing had happened. My family doesn’t want to be impolite, so they let her stay, but I feel stuck.
Social Media Stalker: My ex would somehow discover that I was seeing someone new and begin following them on social media, even sending direct messages. He would imply that I was “still in love with him” or that I had been “seeing other people” while we were still together, which was untrue, making dating a nightmare. Friend Sabotage: He began hanging out with one of my closest friends, using their hangouts to send me messages or reminisce about “the good old days.” I lost my friend because she felt I was exaggerated by wanting to stay away.
Catfishing Myself: After our breakup, my ex made phony dating profiles, posing as people who wanted to date me. We would chat online, and just when I thought it was sincere, “he” would divulge something really intimate that only my ex would know. It seemed like he was trying to entice me back by acting like the ideal partner, only to remind me that “no one else knows me” as well as he does. Private Investigator Drama: I discovered that my ex hired a private investigator to follow me, saying he