A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.
After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
“Gosh!” exclaimed the new bride.
“You certainly have a dangerous job. Don’t you ever get bitten by the snakes?”
“Yes, on rare occasions,” answered the handler.
“Well,” she continued, “just what do you do when you’re bitten by a snake?”
“I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then taste it the poison from the wound.”
“What, uh… what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?” persisted the woman.
“Ma’am,” answered the snake handler, “that will be the day I learn who my real friends are.”
2nd joke : A Dad and a Son were watching TV
A Dad and a Son were watching TV downstairs.
The Dads feet started getting cold.
So he sends his Son upstairs to get his slippers.
When he gets to the top he sees two of his sisters friends on her bed.
He then says, “My Dad sent me up here to sleep with you both”.
They then replied with, “No he hasn’t, you’re lying for sure”.
The Son says, “He has and I can prove it,” so he shouts, “DAD, YOU DID SAY BOTH OF THEM, DIDN’T YOU?”.
His Dad then shouts back, “OF COURSE I DID WHATS THE POINT IN BANG ONE.”