In unexpected ways, parents frequently find themselves intervening to protect their kids. After a 6-year-old classmate stole her daughter’s bento lunchbox, a mother recently told how she stood her ground. She was shocked to learn that the principal and the teacher supported the other child’s behavior. Here’s what happened.
“Did you tell your teacher?” I asked, already feeling my stomach tighten. “I did,” she whispered, “but she said it’s just a lunchbox and not a big deal. My sister had given my 6-year-old daughter a lovely $50 bento lunchbox, a special one she adored and used every day. However, on Thursday afternoon, as I unpacked her backpack as I always do, I noticed something was missing. Her lunchbox was gone. I asked her gently where it was before she finally said, “Audrey took it… and she wouldn’t give it back.”
I was incensed because Audrey was not a stranger in our home conversations—she and a group of girls had been picking on my daughter for months. We had brought the bullying to the attention of the school multiple times, but each time we received evasive assurances and no real action. The following day, I arrived at the school thirty minutes before lunch and calmly asked for an urgent meeting with the principal and the teacher. They agreed, and my daughter was brought in to give her side of the story. After hearing her out, a staff member was dispatched to pick Audrey up from class. I wasn’t there to start a fight, but I was tired of seeing my daughter being dismissed.
Audrey brought the lunchbox to “prove” it was hers, but I calmly asked them to open it, and sure enough, my daughter’s name was clearly visible inside. When I asked for it to be returned, Audrey started crying, and the teacher, rather than taking care of the problem, asked if Audrey could keep it for the day because her lunch was already inside. I told them that she had five minutes to find another container for her food, or I would be throwing it out myself. Instead of finding a solution, they began arguing with me, so I got up, took the bento box, and—right in front of them—dumped the food into the trash.
I took my daughter’s hand and left them to console Audrey. When I later told my sister what had happened, she said that even though I had every right to be upset, I should have let Audrey keep the lunchbox since she would have bought my daughter another one. However, why should I replace something my daughter already had just because an entitled child chose to take it? To put things in perspective, Audrey’s family is wealthy—she could easily afford her own bento box. She took my daughter’s because she is a bully, and to make matters worse, people defended her actions. My daughter will be changing schools at the end of the semester.
I’m glad your daughter saw you defending her in that way; I was bullied as a child and understand how much it would have meant to have my mother stand up for me so tenaciously. You are an incredible parent!