After a long day at work, Ray climbed into bed with his wife and fell asleep as soon as she did.
St. Peter’s ominous comment, “You died in your sleep, Ray,” was the first sound he heard when he opened his eyes in heaven.
“I’m dead?” a startled Ray whispered. “I am not at all!” Please bring me back; there is too much at stake for me to die now.
It was revealed by St. Peter that you could only return to Earth as a chicken.
Despite his sadness, Ray prayed to St. Peter to be moved to a nearby farm.
He was suddenly encircled by feathers and heard birds clucking and pecking at the ground.
So, you’re the new hen, huh?’ strolled by a rooster. ‘How is your first day going thus far?’
‘Not bad,’ Ray the hen said, ‘but I have this funny feeling inside like I’m gonna explode!’
To which the rooster said, “You’re ovulating; don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?”
Never, Ray firmly proclaimed.
The rooster advises, “Well, just chill out and let it happen.” Not a big deal, really.
He did, and a few awkward seconds later, an egg sprang to the surface.
As he became a father, he was overtaken with emotion.
His happiness led him to lay another egg shortly after.
He felt and heard something strike the back of his skull as he prepared to lay his third egg.
“Awaken, Ray! On the bed, you did a poo!