I soon discovered that weddings can elicit opinions from individuals you didn’t even know had them. I was determined to make it feel unique and not just like a ritual when my fiancé, Evan, and I began organizing ours. And it was immediately clear that neither of our families had small children. No infant cousins, no nieces, and no nephews.
Why not ask my two grandmothers to be our flower girl instead of attempting to use someone else’s child?
Grandma Helen and Grandma Marlene were both in their eighties, but they were still lively and, if I’m being honest, more fun than most people my age. They were the type of women that gossiped like teens over coffee, danced at family gatherings, and Are you serious? In between giggles, she inquired. “You want to throw petals down the aisle with two elderly women?”
“Exactly,” I replied.
I was surprised when she consented right away. It took some persuasion to get Marlene to agree, but once Helen did, they threw themselves into it. They sent me updates all the time, even going dress shopping with me.
“What do you think? I think I should wear pink, but Helen wants a lavender dress.” One afternoon, Marlene asked me.
I adored their excitement. It was flawless.
Until my prospective mother-in-law learned about it.
She drew me aside during dinner one evening, her face tense as if she were preparing to break bad news.
“Are you certain that this is the right decision, sweetheart?” she added cautiously. It’s a touch out of the ordinary.
I understood her meaning perfectly. It seemed strange to her. Even embarrassing.
I said to her, “I think it’s perfect.” “And they are thrilled.”
She pursed her lips, obviously suppressing a rebuttal. To his credit, Evan simply shrugged and remarked, “I think it’s great.”
However, the strain persisted. The family on his side was more conventional. I could already picture the ceremony’s raised eyebrows. My mother-in-law then committed the unimaginable a few days prior to the wedding.
She tried to persuade my grandmothers to resign over the phone.
Helen contacted me, her voice particularly shrill, and I found out.
She began by saying, “That woman believes we’re When she summoned Marlene and myself, she expressed concern that we might “draw attention away from the bride and groom.”
“That’s what she said, really?”
“Yes, indeed,” Helen sighed. “Your wedding will be ruined by two elderly women throwing petals at each other.”
I was furious. Not only did she go behind my back, but she implied that my grandmothers weren’t deserving of being meaningfully included.
“She didn’t dissuade you, did she?” With caution, I asked.
“Oh, no way,” Helen sneered. “If anything, my enthusiasm for tossing those petals has increased.”
But Marlene wasn’t sure.
When I called, she said, “I don’t want to cause problems, sweetheart.” “If it would make things easier for you, I would step down.”
“No,” I firmly answered. “This isn’t about simplifying things. It’s about honoring those who are important to me. And Grandma Helen and you are important.
Although she looked reassured by it, I could tell she was still anxious about the tension.
I felt the weight of my mother-in-law’s criticism on the wedding day. She was courteous but aloof. When they saw my grandmothers wearing their flower girl dresses—Marlene in pink and Helen in lavender—some of Evan’s family whispered.
The ceremony then got underway.
As the music began to play, they joyfully threw petals as they made their way down the aisle. Everyone in the room burst out laughing and cheering. When Helen poured petals over a guest’s head, even the doubtful relatives couldn’t help but smile.
My mother-in-law was smiling by the time they arrived at the altar. There was no doubting the warmth in the room, even though she still appeared rather rigid.
People continued to talk about them at the reception.
One of Evan’s aunts told me, “That was the best thing I’ve ever seen at a wedding.”
One buddy remarked, “Your grandmothers are iconic.”
Even my mother-in-law reluctantly acknowledged that “they definitely made an impression, even though it wasn’t what I expected.”
What’s the best part? Marlene and Helen were having a great time.
While sipping champagne, Helen jokingly said, “We’re considering turning this into a business.” “You can hire professional flower girls.” What are your thoughts?
I chuckled. “I believe you would have years’ worth of bookings.”
Marlene gave a pat.
And I realized then that I had made the proper decision.
Because tradition isn’t the point of weddings. They have to do with love. What about my grandmothers? They should have received the same level of celebration as everyone else.
Therefore, if you are ever unsure about whether to defy a wedding “rule” in order to make it more significant, then go ahead and do it.
Remember to like and share this tale if you enjoyed it! ❤️