Wife: Please help me tidy the garden, honey.
Do I look like a gardener, husband?
Wife: I’m very sorry, honey. Fix the bathroom door, then.
Do I appear like a carpenter, husband? ….
The husband then leaves; upon returning, he discovers the garden has been cleaned and the door has been mended.
Husband: I knew my wife would handle this alone.
Wife: I’m not the one.
Then, who is it, husband?
Our neighbor’s wife
How much did you pay your husband?
Wife: He only offered me bread or sex, nothing more.
Spouse: Wife: Do I appear like a bakery? I hope you offered him bread!