My husband and I purchased a wedding present for our granddaughter from her registry, and she later accused us of being frugal after receiving it. She is now angry and threatening to interrupt us because we failed to give her the cash gift that we gave to each of our five wonderful grandchildren—three women and two men—and I am in my seventies. I love my grandchildren and am always there for them, both financially and emotionally, so they know they can rely on me during special occasions and during difficult times. Grandparents with their grown grandchildren, Eloise, married last October. My husband, who is also in his seventies,
After we simply bought her an air fryer, I reasoned that perhaps she didn’t think we would give her that much money. She finally answered, “No, it’s obvious. Simply put, you don’t love me enough to express it. I’m under a lot of strain because of the wedding, you know. Then this? You seem indifferent,” she said, and hung up. My husband and I were shocked by Eloise’s response, but we chose not to give her the $40,000 since we felt she hadn’t earned it. Instead, we purchased her a china set in an attempt to please her. Now fast-forward to last week.
Eloise informed her brother that we were being honest with her regarding the money. “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married,” she said over the phone after verifying it with her cousins. She accused us of discrimination. Why did I receive nothing? We remained steadfast, stating that our position resulted from her first response, “We thought it wasn’t appropriate to give you the money after your response to the wedding present.” Eloise begged, attempting to persuade us otherwise, “You’re punishing me, then? Is that it? Because an air fryer made me angry? She didn’t even realize what she had done wrong, which infuriated me. “It wasn’t about the air Eloise begged us, almost crying, “But that’s so unjust! I was under a lot of stress. It’s difficult to plan a wedding, and I lost it. It wasn’t my intention at all. Instead of coming up with reasons to defend her actions, I thought she ought to have just apologized to us.
We get that it’s a trying moment, but words and deeds have repercussions, I informed her. We thought you would see the importance of love and family over material possessions. Eloise said in a desperate tone, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just put this all behind us? Grandma, I need that money. We refused to back down despite her entreaties, threats of boycotting Christmas, and accusations that we had cut her off.
In the end, I expressed, “We love you very much. Cutting you off is unrelated to this. We sincerely hope you will consider this and comprehend the rationale behind our choice. Following through on her warning, Eloise is now boycotting Christmas. Her mother, who is our daughter-in-law, is backing with her, calling us unreasonable.
However, we believe that the air fryer present shouldn’t have caused this reaction given everything we have done for Eloise. To put things in perspective, her parents paid for part of the wedding and her graduate school, and we had already paid for her college. Furthermore, she and her spouse are not in dire need of our money because they are financially secure. Additionally, we are not angry with our grandchildren for disclosing the financial gift.
We always send our gifts early because we live far away, which is why we sent the air fryer earlier. The money, which we give in the hopes that it will be used for something meaningful, like a house, is likewise distinct from the wedding gift. Even though Eloise and her mother promise to do their worst, we believe that the punishment we took against her was well-deserved and we will not change our minds.
My spouse and I maintain our decision in spite of the turbulent circumstances and Eloise’s inability to comprehend our viewpoint. Our family values love and respect above all else, therefore we thought that she would learn from this circumstance. This year’s holidays may be more subdued.